July 17, 2007

“You Can’t Have ADD! You’re 21 Years Old!” by Megan, Contributing Author

Posted in ADHD, Posts by Guests at 7:51 am by Megan

Hey Everyone, this is Renee, the main author of “Kick My ADD” blog. I have been looking for contributing authors for a few days, and Megan submitted the intro post below. I hope she will become a regular contributor to the site! I will categorize future posts by author, so you can use the category links in the right sidebar to filter to a specific writer if you’d like.

Below is the introduction post from our first contributing author, Megan! 

I’d never considered ADD as the root of my problems. All those ADD kids I knew growing up were hyper, acted out, were terrible at academics. But me, I was a straight-A student through junior high. Sure I struggled heavily with mathematics, and would freak out when I had to sit myself down and do my homework at night. But that’s just because I was a moody teenager, right?

When I was 21 I kept seeing fliers for adult ADD in the drug store. “Trouble concentrating? Feel disorganized? Want a solution? Your Doctor can help!” Well, it was worth a try. The more and more research I did, the more I felt relieved, that maybe there was something in my head that wasn’t exactly like everyone else’s.

The diagnosis freed me, but I realized that there was going to be hurdles I still had to get past, the least of which was the actual treatment for ADD. I had to “come out” as being an adult with ADD to those around me. My mother was relieved, because she knew there was a reason why I picked fights with her, and why I was impatient when she talked. However, she is anti-medication for anything, so she wasn’t happy that the doctor wanted me on Concerta.

Other reactions I got varied from “Oh. ADD, huh? Isn’t that for kids?” to “You forget to pay the bills? Well then I must have ADD too! Har har har!” Most people didn’t get it. They didn’t understand that it wasn’t just that I would forget to pay the bills, but that I also couldn’t remember what someone asked me to do five minutes ago, that my brain felt blocked, like I was up against a wall I couldn’t see over. I could hardly even function at my job because it was a special kind of mind-numbing. I even had a friend who got furious at me when I told him they’d be giving me medication for it.

Long story short, I did try Concerta for a year. The medication did help me. The first time I took it my brain felt like one of those Claritin allergy ads where they lift the film up and all the sudden everything is in Technicolor. My brain felt super-focused as I don’t think it ever had before. But soon the side-effects began outweighing the good. I found the time-release pill would wear off by the time I got to my night classes in college. If I took the pill too late in the day, I’d have trouble getting to sleep, and I just had trouble staying asleep generally speaking. I’d also get a terrible crawly, restless, antsy feeling at very random times, but often after I’d settled down for the evening. My nerves would feel raw, and my adrenaline would be surging like I had to get up and move. That can be helpful for energy during the day when you want to get out and take a walk, but not when you’re sitting in a movie theater trying to watch a film. As much as the Concerta helped, I couldn’t deal with the side-effects and stopped taking it. As of right now I’ve been off the meds for a year, and I do miss the good things the medication helped me deal with.

But I’ve made a decision to try to work with the ADD and deal with it without medication. I don’t want it to rule my life, but on the other hand I don’t want to just ignore the symptoms and live like I’ve been living: disorganized, forgetful and the feeling like I’m drowning.

I think I can do it, and I think other adults can do it. It takes some time, and it takes understanding and patience of ourselves and those around us. If we can each understand what exactly ADD is, the useful things that come with it [hey, I don’t mind the whole “hyper-focus” thing!], and how to work with disorganization, then we can all be living a distraction-free life without the use of medication.

Thanks for the post, Megan, and welcome to the Kick My ADD blog! I’m looking forward to seeing your ideas and progress dealing with ADD without medication!

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